When a Problem is Not Your Own

Dear Mrs. T.
My friend, I will call her "Pam" wants to go off and drive a truck cross country. She wants me to go to her home everyday and change the cat litter for about 6 cats and feed them. I do not want to do this. What should I tell her?
--Worried in Mineola

Dear Worried,
Pam is very welcome to drive a truck cross-country if she chooses. By doing so, she is also choosing the consequences that come of leaving one's home for an extended period. If that means that animals will be left behind, whether one cat or an entire menagerie, it is Pam's responsibility to make suitable arrangements for their care. The material point here is that it is not YOUR responsibility to manage their care. If an agreeable arrangement between the two of you could be made for their care, bless you both. Unfortunately, this is not a task you are up to. Whether you are unable or simply unwilling is irrelevant and Pam should be accepting of this fact if you tell her directly. "I'm very sorry, but I am unable to perform this task," would do nicely. If, however, she refuses to accept your perfectly reasonable answer, please do not worry over it. We all have problems to worry over, but this one is just not yours, my friend. Rest easy letting it go.

Yours ever,
Mrs. T.